Orgasm O’ Clock
So you are the proud owner of a clitoris? A fully-paid-up member of the Cliterati? Excellent!
Owning a clitoris is one of the most important pieces of the female-orgasm puzzle. Knowing how to work it, makes up the rest.
Arousal is an integral part to the build-up of an orgasm, so any time spent getting hot and bothered is time well spent. Reading erotica is a classic tip - your mind and body needs to be on the same page (arf!) in order for you to experience a bangin’ orgasm, so don’t scrimp on the sexy stuff.
If erotica doesn’t float your boat, try mood music or a bit of porn. A glass of wine, perhaps. Definitely turn off your phone and lock the door – the clitoris doesn’t take well to interruptions and could easily deprive you of that fantastic wave of heat if something or someone interrupts its flow.
Whilst seemingly easy to use, the clitoris is a tricky little bean. In order for it to do its thing, the conditions must be absolutely right.
Turned on? Check.
Lubed up? Check.
In a comfortable position? Check.
Next, you need to know where your hot spots are.
This may seem obvious, but the clitoris is very picky about what it likes, and how intense, and how long for...
Drizzle a generous amount of a water-based lube onto your fingers, before allowing your hand to take on a life of its own. Don’t think too much about it. Cup the vulva, stroke the outer and inner labia lips, tug on your pubic hair (if you have any), slide your fingers around the silky folds… If you find a spot that feels good, go back to it and pay it more attention. If another spot doesn’t seem to coax out much sensation, move on. When your body tells you it wants more direct stimulation (and it will), it’s time to give the clitoris some lovin’.
Try thinking of the clitoris as a clock; 12 at the top and 6 at the bottom. I call this the ‘Clit Clock’. At this point, you might try a little dab of enhancing gel; this will help to draw blood to an area you want as juicy as possible. As you feel your way around the “clock,” you’ll probably find that a certain ‘time’ is more sensitive. This is your happy hour. This spot will likely be the spot that eventually tips you over into blissful moans.
Before you learn how to have orgasms at a quick jingle of your finger, you’ll have to spend some time practising.
Lots of time, even. This isn’t a bad thing – this will help with arousal and build-up, so go slow and enjoy the exploration.
Taking deep breaths into the pit of your stomach will help build excitement. Watch your favourite porn or close your eyes and think of a particularly hot fantasy (Hey there, Dean Winchester!), and squeeze your pelvic floor in time with your stroking.
An orgasm is a series on involuntary pelvic floor contractions, so it makes sense to engage this part of your body to help things along. Move your hips in ways that feel good for you, rocking, riding or squiggling around. Flex your toes, stretch your feet – tensing various parts of your body will help too, believe it or not.
If you fancy speeding things along or experience different sensations, it’s worth investing in a vibrator.
These days, vibes are small and beautiful, and you don’t have to spend a fortune on a good one. Bullet vibrators are hugely popular and at under £15 a pop, it’s good for experimentation. Run the vibe along the labia, over your nipples, around the clitoris… The only rule here is: don’t put anything in your bum that hasn’t been designed to go there. Other than that, let your imagination lead and you might find super-sensitive zones.
A marvellous, but more expensive option is a “suckie” toy. Rather than vibrating directly on the clit, these toys create a vacuum around it and sucks an orgasm out. Wowzers! It can be a little unexpected at first, but once you get the hang of it, it’s bloody marvellous! (Watch our Bodacious Babes Guide To Sex Toys - Suction video for more information)
An orgasm can be long and strong, or short and sharp, like a little sneeze or a big wave of pleasure washing over you.
Anyone woman can experience all of these orgasms, depending on how turned on she is and what kind of stimulation she’s enjoying. An orgasm brought on by a finger feels different from an orgasm brought on by a vibrator, which feels different from one brought on by a tongue… It might take you a while to get there, but it’s well worth the effort. *Wink*